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New Beginnings

This evening, while walking around Target, I learned that I will be gainfully employed again. Exciting news. Very exciting news. I am going to be doing the same work that I was doing in Buffalo, New York.  I will be working as a teller for Union Bank here in Southern California.  This is going to be an interesting endeavor for me as I am going to be learning a new set of ideas that surround a new business.  This is going to be a new set of ideas in the same industry that I worked in before.  The principle ideas will be the same, but there will be very different approaches to the way that they do business.  I will be learning as I go and growing as a person.

The one thing I realize is that I will be able to be myself. I will be able to institute my personality as well as what I have learned before in hopes to create a viable option as a career.

So how is this inspiring? Well, as we find new beginnings we find ends.  There is always an end of an era when you start a new one.  This is kind of daunting, yet it’s refreshing.  Looking at the end of an era or an age, you can see what worked for you in the past as well as the areas that you can change.  Finding these areas for improvement and the ideas that we would like to keep allow you to focus on what you will do in the future.  The only way to advance is to learn from the past without losing yourself.

I think we are generally focused on learning how to become what is expected that we forget who we are.  I wonder if this is why society is generally disassociated? What do you think?  Do you think that society wants to mold us into something that we are not, or do you feel that we are allowed to be ourselves in this society?

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Questions

Tonight I had a great conversation with Jenna. For those of you that don’t know, Jenna is my girlfriend who I am quite fond of. We talked about a lot of things in pertaining to the future that we would love to see in our own lives. How we imagine things to be in the ideal world. She and I both have vague concepts of what we would look for as we both seem to live in the moment and that dictates the situation.

The questions I am going to ask you are similar to the ones she and I talked about and maybe a few more. But where did the idea come from? Well it came from a dream or a sequence of dreams that I may have concocted while trying to fall asleep last night.

So the questions. Please feel free to answer any and all of these. If you don’t have the answer, you don’t have to feel obligated to put something.

What is your ideal wedding? If you’re already married, would you change anything about it?
Who would you invite to your wedding party?
Where would you have it?
What would you do if there wasn’t a budget?
Would you have a band or a dj?

What would you do if you won the lottery?
Would you invest, if so in what?
Would you donate/tithe/share with family and friends?
What would you buy?
Where would you go?

If you could have one job, what would it be?

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Do you have a bucket list?
If yes, what is on it?

What did you want to be when you grew up? Are you working towards that, or have you lost sight of it?

These are questions to get you thinking. Maybe these questions will open doors you didnt know existed. I hope that you will talk about these questions with someone important to you or maybe you can just tell me. There are countless answers to these questions and I’m curious to know.

If you do win the lottery, I am not going to hit you up for money. Don’t feel obligated to withhold your opinions on what you would do. There is no wrong answer.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Matt

To Write Love On Her Arms

I am a huge proponent of TWLOHA. I have followed the work that they have done for quite some time now.  I have actively pursued ways to get my community involved with TWLOHA whenever I have the chance.  I believe in the work that they do, and if you have any interest in them at all, please click the link on the side and donate to them. All it takes is a minute of your time. It has nothing to do with a monetary donation.

 

Live. Learn. Love.

I have learned in life that you can’t take things too seriously.  Please do not get me wrong, this does not mean that I recommend anyone go for a carefree approach to life. However I do believe that there are aspects that people need to calm down. For instance, while driving (I am not the most calm person while driving) if I do not leave the line right when the light turns green… don’t honk at me. It’s not that big of a deal.

Anyway, there is a big picture to this.  This morning God called Bill Adams home.  This may not mean anything to you, but it means a lot to my dad’s side of the family.  This was a gentleman, father, grandfather, uncle, husband and a genuine man.  In his last days, he spent time with his three children and wife as comfortable as possible. He did not pass in pain or stress, but in peace. There is a lesson to learn in this. My dad was giving me the update this morning on his last days and he told me this. While being taken off of life support and feeding tubes to be moved to hospice Bill was talking to his wife and said “I just want to thank you for 50 years of wonderful marriage” to which his wife, Ann, responded “it’s been 56.” His response to that statement was “it’s been that long?” This brought out a laugh through the room and those listening.

So why does this matter?  How is this inspiring and showing not to take life too seriously? Well, let me tell you. In a time of sadness, grief and preparation for the end, there was still joy throughout the room.  This goes to show you that whenever you have grief or sadness there are still opportunities to find joy.  If you take life too seriously you will miss these wonderful moments. If you focus strictly on the end result, you will miss moments that could add a little light when the world seems so dark.

I will leave you with that.

until next time.

A new idea

Good morning? Early morning or maybe late evening. It’s all in how you look at it. Regardless, I have become inspired at 12:25 pacific standard time. The thing is, I write a lot. Well, not as much lately. However the lack of writing stems from not having this application on my phone. I tend to write on here more than my computer.

Anyway, I’m inspired. Through the wall I have heard “Youth of the Nation” by P.O.D. at least 4 times. This has nothing to do with my inspiration, but maybe it’s a sign. I have a voice. I have a lot on my mind, but I don’t always have an avenue to express that.

I am going to turn a leaf and use this page as more than a creative outlook. I want this to become a page of inspiration and a page of insight. Though my words, when in a poetic sense, may not mean much I am hoping to expand my thoughts. Sure, sometimes I’ll write poetically. That isn’t going away. It’s a huge part of me. However, I am going to try to do more. There is a lot going on in my head at all times. I need to let it all out.

So welcome and hello.

I’m matt. I’m 25 and I’m inspired.

Your Hands Won’t Clap

The lights were always bright on those nights
Standing silent infront of an amp
Anticipating a sudden rush of energy to take over the room
Leading to an onslaught of noise to come forth
It was one loud crash away
From the greatest nights

But then your hands never met
The time was right but not for you
You kept them trapped
Folded against your chest
Standing ever still in the middle of the commotion
Making your presense known
No one ever came close
Your mouth never moved
Leaving everyone stranded
It was all we needed
Your affirmation
And you left us hanging on to the edge

your eyes are the first thing
that bring me back
to that couch that has gone away
the thoughts that were meant for today
that have found their place amongst the weeds
rooted and rolling in the wilderness breeze
buried deep in the hollows of my mind

there was a line that was fit for this place
but it’s lost in some deep space
because when i closed my eyes
i kissed it goodbye

i swear i want to forget
i want to lose sight on all those times
the times burned in my mind
your smile and your eyes
in every moment we could have shared
in the dreams we were prepared to live out
on the houses that we mapped out
it was like it all made sense
and now i just want to erase the memories
to make them fade from white to black
on a screen to never have them back

i wish this was a galaxy far, far away

if i could only count the times
that tears filled these eyes
wondering if it was ever the same
hoping i wasn’t alone in my shame
losing sleep for days
waiting for the right time
to just find out and fall apart
like it was predicted from the start
so take me to the chalkboard
and grab the erasers
this is one lesson that i need to forget

the chalk dust is choking me
and yet i’m still able to breathe

leave me out to pasture
take me behind the barn
remove this one part of my brain
my heart still beats for nothing
a love letter to a lost soul
a post marked envelope addressed to nowhere
like a bottle at sea
i’m reaching out for anyone to rescue me
take that third star to the right
i am just beyond the hopes and dreams
of young kids that believe in love

and as i stand here
or lay depending on your point of view
i’ll lay it all on the line
take this old hose and wash it away
make me forget that it ever happened
remove that seeded part of my brain
let the weeds be picked and removed
i swear that i want it gone
these are the ghosts that haunt me
a terrible nightmare that is on repeat

i wish i could watch you lace up your shoes and leave
so that my mind wouldn’t have to wonder
knowing that there is a clear picture
but i’m always glued
stuck in a place that i haven’t been in years
anything that is a distraction finds a way back
once the novelty is over and life goes on again
i want to forget those nights
i wish i could remove those drives
the adventures to nowhere and everywhere

i need to spread my wings
but i’m bound by this future my mind perceives
my hope is deadly
and i just want to be free
i could believe in the lyrics that defined my youth
but then my life would be one magical lie
because it never panned out the way they sang it
i’m still that boy trapped in the corner
without the open heart to take me in

what will it take for me to be free
a painting
a song
a fight
a victory
a dance
nothing

i am nothing
and yet i’m still here

roulette not russian

spin the wheel and guess the color
this is a night we’ll never get back
the ball is picking it’s place
and we’re not winning a race

as the wheel spins
the colors and lines blur
just a swift moment
before the game is over

remember those times
when life flashed before our eyes
transfixed on those dollar signs
taking a chance
on a new found romance
with the risks being greater
than every reward

who really wins
it’s just a cheap thrill
like a twenty dollar bill
it doesn’t last as long as it used to

begging for the chance
to make this night last
hoping that someone will come back
and take us away
leading us down that golden highway
to the place of our hopes and dreams
where we could have anything
our riches are countless
and this night is now ours

remember those times
when life flashed before our eyes
transfixed on those dollar signs
taking a chance
on a new found romance
with the risks being greater
than every reward

now what do you say
when we throw it away
was it worth it
leaving our lives at stake
putting our hearts in the fate
of a small little ball
we were determined
not to lose it all

remember those times
when life flashed before our eyes
transfixed on those dollar signs
taking a chance
on a new found romance
with the risks being greater
than every reward

lead me back to those open skies

there is a certain feel to it
a mixture of scent and touch
making the perfect fit
letting me feel like i am a part of it
a part of this new life
that was there all along
keeping me entranced with the past that i had
and the future that is calling me home
the method is not in the madness this time
as i have not gotten to a point that it makes sense
it’s just what i know
it’s where i call home

the cloudless skies always open my eyes
to the green pastures of yesterday
the brake lights always remind me of those times
that i could just drive for hours
waiting for a friend to finish a conversation
staring to the stars for a moment or two
just waiting for that moment that the skies would part
as the marine layer starts to roll in
the subtle hum of cars is ever present
and it’s like the ocean waves
that always put me to sleep

this is home
this is what i know

please take me back to these california skies
the same skies that kept me alive
keeping my eyes on the unattainable prize
focusing on the things that were important at that place in time
friends
family
love
loving it all as the waves would roll in
though the times could get rough
looking into those open skies
would remind me that the currents always change
finding the way back to a certain normalcy

so picture a cross country drive
the wind in my sails
always at my back
though i’d be heading into the jet stream
this isn’t a matter of fact or fiction
it’s a matter of time and superstition
there are a few lines to figure and cross
a makeshift time of trite and grit
leading me to be weak and strong
it’s time to give in to the life that I need to lead
opposed to the life i’ve choosen

the state seemed to be so alive
i only hope that I can open my eyes

enchanted

feel the urge to fall as the winds lead us away
drifting slowly like the waves
constantly crashing into the shore
the steady rhythm is only altered by the moon
bringing the change that we need to break the monotony

fleeting words are escaping these lips
knowing that they may never kiss
kiss the deep blue sky that comes with the night
and as the stars fill our eyes
with the constellations in the sky
we find ourselves thinking of all we could have been

there are dreams that we need to learn to get go
but we never seem to let our feelings show
how the axis of our world is altered as we grow
we find the new beginnings in the seeds we sow

so leave me here
among the concrete walls that surround the sea
there are simple solutions here
like the salt in the air
leading me to the place I thought I could never leave
this is the only place I need