Category: Inspiration


insomnia.

my worst enemy. my brain is tired, and yet I am still awake.  I keep scavenging the internet for cures, but alas there are none. I only find new things to captivate my mind.

this is how it goes.

the one thing that seems to be a reoccurring theme this evening is the past.  I was looking at pictures on facebook. lurking if you will. not to see what people are up to, but to see where they have been.  The pictures, however, didn’t take me to places that I wish I could have gone. No. They took me back to the “good-ole-days” if I am allowed to have those.

I looked at my past. What I was in to.  The things I did. I can still recall when the “night-of-my-life” moment that happened when Spend The Night had their album release show at Chain Reaction. I remembered how stoked I was for that night, and how it did not fail to deliver.

I also remember passing on going to Arizona State after paying all of my deposits and basically committing myself to them.

But all of this thought of the past doesn’t lead me to the path it used to. I used to dwell there. Thinking about mistakes. Well… mistakes happen. They have shaped my life today.  I am really, honestly happy with where I am today.  It’s a great place. Sure I haven’t accomplished what I have wanted to, but that’s not what life is about.  It’s not about what I want to accomplish. I am not going to sell my soul to get what I want.  I will, however, wait for my path and work like I always have.

there is never an end or a turning-back point.  We always go forward. We always move ahead.

If I leave you with one thing, let me leave you with this.

Your past is the past. It made you who you are today.  If there was something you wish you could have changed in the past, change it now. You can’t change what happened, and you can’t control the world. All you can do is control your decisions. Choose what is right for you. I promise you will sleep better at night, even if you can’t fall right to sleep.

Check One. Two.

Is this thing on? I don’t really know.

I was adamant about posting, but I have kind of lost track of time.  It, seriously, has flown by.  The year is almost over and I am not sure how it all began.

I will do my best to post.

 

don’t lose hope on me yet.

(dis)Likes

I am generally a positive person. Generally.

I try to find the good in the things around me. I try to see where life is heading and find the joy in the life around me. However there are times that I, like most, see nothing but negative. Case in point. This evening I went to see Dusty Rhoades and the River Band play their last show (I didn’t stay long enough though). As we waited for the first band to play at the Continental Room in Downtown Fullerton there was general conversation going on throughout the room. This is pretty standard, nothing wrong so far. However when the first band came on, who I truly do not know the name of, I felt that they were playing songs I have already heard and were not playing them well. This could have been due to the fact that I am getting kind of tired of the way music is going now.  It seems like all of the bands I am interested in are straying away from the pop aspect of music and going towards the somber, indie, rinse and repeat style of music that is popular now.  Do not get me wrong, there are plenty of bands that play this music well, and I do enjoy it. At the same time I get tired of bands that are trying to capitalize on a genre that is not meant for everyone.

As the band kept playing, I could only really hear the drums and bass clearly.

Was this by design? Maybe.
Was it all my brain wanted to hear? Perhaps.

However, I kept listening to the tone of the bass player and I was really into it. The bass groves that were underneath the 16th note frantic guitar strumming and leads that I couldn’t follow were stunning. It was simple and captivated me. It was almost hip hop-esque in that it was not a constant rhythm but syncopated with impressive fills that filled out rather bland and music that is not very interesting.

What does this mean to you and me? Well, I could have sat there and wallowed in the negative aspects of the band playing. I could have nitpicked the guitar playing and singing so that my reasoning would have been justified in my own head and left it at that. This would have then ruined my night and those around me.  I am not one to fake interest in a band if I do not like them.  I, unfortunately, walk outside or lose interest. However, tonight was different. I found something in the music that I liked. I followed along at my own pace. I lost interest in whatever the guitarists were playing as well as what the vocalist was singing.

As a lesson to myself, I think I can apply this to everything else in life.  We are not always in situations that we enjoy, but there is almost always something we can enjoy where ever we are. Try to find your bass grove when you feel down.

New Beginnings

This evening, while walking around Target, I learned that I will be gainfully employed again. Exciting news. Very exciting news. I am going to be doing the same work that I was doing in Buffalo, New York.  I will be working as a teller for Union Bank here in Southern California.  This is going to be an interesting endeavor for me as I am going to be learning a new set of ideas that surround a new business.  This is going to be a new set of ideas in the same industry that I worked in before.  The principle ideas will be the same, but there will be very different approaches to the way that they do business.  I will be learning as I go and growing as a person.

The one thing I realize is that I will be able to be myself. I will be able to institute my personality as well as what I have learned before in hopes to create a viable option as a career.

So how is this inspiring? Well, as we find new beginnings we find ends.  There is always an end of an era when you start a new one.  This is kind of daunting, yet it’s refreshing.  Looking at the end of an era or an age, you can see what worked for you in the past as well as the areas that you can change.  Finding these areas for improvement and the ideas that we would like to keep allow you to focus on what you will do in the future.  The only way to advance is to learn from the past without losing yourself.

I think we are generally focused on learning how to become what is expected that we forget who we are.  I wonder if this is why society is generally disassociated? What do you think?  Do you think that society wants to mold us into something that we are not, or do you feel that we are allowed to be ourselves in this society?

Questions

Tonight I had a great conversation with Jenna. For those of you that don’t know, Jenna is my girlfriend who I am quite fond of. We talked about a lot of things in pertaining to the future that we would love to see in our own lives. How we imagine things to be in the ideal world. She and I both have vague concepts of what we would look for as we both seem to live in the moment and that dictates the situation.

The questions I am going to ask you are similar to the ones she and I talked about and maybe a few more. But where did the idea come from? Well it came from a dream or a sequence of dreams that I may have concocted while trying to fall asleep last night.

So the questions. Please feel free to answer any and all of these. If you don’t have the answer, you don’t have to feel obligated to put something.

What is your ideal wedding? If you’re already married, would you change anything about it?
Who would you invite to your wedding party?
Where would you have it?
What would you do if there wasn’t a budget?
Would you have a band or a dj?

What would you do if you won the lottery?
Would you invest, if so in what?
Would you donate/tithe/share with family and friends?
What would you buy?
Where would you go?

If you could have one job, what would it be?

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Do you have a bucket list?
If yes, what is on it?

What did you want to be when you grew up? Are you working towards that, or have you lost sight of it?

These are questions to get you thinking. Maybe these questions will open doors you didnt know existed. I hope that you will talk about these questions with someone important to you or maybe you can just tell me. There are countless answers to these questions and I’m curious to know.

If you do win the lottery, I am not going to hit you up for money. Don’t feel obligated to withhold your opinions on what you would do. There is no wrong answer.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Matt

To Write Love On Her Arms

I am a huge proponent of TWLOHA. I have followed the work that they have done for quite some time now.  I have actively pursued ways to get my community involved with TWLOHA whenever I have the chance.  I believe in the work that they do, and if you have any interest in them at all, please click the link on the side and donate to them. All it takes is a minute of your time. It has nothing to do with a monetary donation.

 

Live. Learn. Love.

I have learned in life that you can’t take things too seriously.  Please do not get me wrong, this does not mean that I recommend anyone go for a carefree approach to life. However I do believe that there are aspects that people need to calm down. For instance, while driving (I am not the most calm person while driving) if I do not leave the line right when the light turns green… don’t honk at me. It’s not that big of a deal.

Anyway, there is a big picture to this.  This morning God called Bill Adams home.  This may not mean anything to you, but it means a lot to my dad’s side of the family.  This was a gentleman, father, grandfather, uncle, husband and a genuine man.  In his last days, he spent time with his three children and wife as comfortable as possible. He did not pass in pain or stress, but in peace. There is a lesson to learn in this. My dad was giving me the update this morning on his last days and he told me this. While being taken off of life support and feeding tubes to be moved to hospice Bill was talking to his wife and said “I just want to thank you for 50 years of wonderful marriage” to which his wife, Ann, responded “it’s been 56.” His response to that statement was “it’s been that long?” This brought out a laugh through the room and those listening.

So why does this matter?  How is this inspiring and showing not to take life too seriously? Well, let me tell you. In a time of sadness, grief and preparation for the end, there was still joy throughout the room.  This goes to show you that whenever you have grief or sadness there are still opportunities to find joy.  If you take life too seriously you will miss these wonderful moments. If you focus strictly on the end result, you will miss moments that could add a little light when the world seems so dark.

I will leave you with that.

until next time.

A new idea

Good morning? Early morning or maybe late evening. It’s all in how you look at it. Regardless, I have become inspired at 12:25 pacific standard time. The thing is, I write a lot. Well, not as much lately. However the lack of writing stems from not having this application on my phone. I tend to write on here more than my computer.

Anyway, I’m inspired. Through the wall I have heard “Youth of the Nation” by P.O.D. at least 4 times. This has nothing to do with my inspiration, but maybe it’s a sign. I have a voice. I have a lot on my mind, but I don’t always have an avenue to express that.

I am going to turn a leaf and use this page as more than a creative outlook. I want this to become a page of inspiration and a page of insight. Though my words, when in a poetic sense, may not mean much I am hoping to expand my thoughts. Sure, sometimes I’ll write poetically. That isn’t going away. It’s a huge part of me. However, I am going to try to do more. There is a lot going on in my head at all times. I need to let it all out.

So welcome and hello.

I’m matt. I’m 25 and I’m inspired.