your eyes are the first thing
that bring me back
to that couch that has gone away
the thoughts that were meant for today
that have found their place amongst the weeds
rooted and rolling in the wilderness breeze
buried deep in the hollows of my mind

there was a line that was fit for this place
but it’s lost in some deep space
because when i closed my eyes
i kissed it goodbye

i swear i want to forget
i want to lose sight on all those times
the times burned in my mind
your smile and your eyes
in every moment we could have shared
in the dreams we were prepared to live out
on the houses that we mapped out
it was like it all made sense
and now i just want to erase the memories
to make them fade from white to black
on a screen to never have them back

i wish this was a galaxy far, far away

if i could only count the times
that tears filled these eyes
wondering if it was ever the same
hoping i wasn’t alone in my shame
losing sleep for days
waiting for the right time
to just find out and fall apart
like it was predicted from the start
so take me to the chalkboard
and grab the erasers
this is one lesson that i need to forget

the chalk dust is choking me
and yet i’m still able to breathe

leave me out to pasture
take me behind the barn
remove this one part of my brain
my heart still beats for nothing
a love letter to a lost soul
a post marked envelope addressed to nowhere
like a bottle at sea
i’m reaching out for anyone to rescue me
take that third star to the right
i am just beyond the hopes and dreams
of young kids that believe in love

and as i stand here
or lay depending on your point of view
i’ll lay it all on the line
take this old hose and wash it away
make me forget that it ever happened
remove that seeded part of my brain
let the weeds be picked and removed
i swear that i want it gone
these are the ghosts that haunt me
a terrible nightmare that is on repeat

i wish i could watch you lace up your shoes and leave
so that my mind wouldn’t have to wonder
knowing that there is a clear picture
but i’m always glued
stuck in a place that i haven’t been in years
anything that is a distraction finds a way back
once the novelty is over and life goes on again
i want to forget those nights
i wish i could remove those drives
the adventures to nowhere and everywhere

i need to spread my wings
but i’m bound by this future my mind perceives
my hope is deadly
and i just want to be free
i could believe in the lyrics that defined my youth
but then my life would be one magical lie
because it never panned out the way they sang it
i’m still that boy trapped in the corner
without the open heart to take me in

what will it take for me to be free
a painting
a song
a fight
a victory
a dance
nothing

i am nothing
and yet i’m still here

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